A Thesis of Indictment
On
The Matter of My Sins
By God’s Grace Am I, & Will I Be,
Saved From Them
By God’s Grace Are They Crushed
By God’s Grace He Has Removed Them
By God’s Grace Will They Rule Me No More
By God’s Grace Did My Christ
Become Them
By God’s Grace Did My Christ
Carry Them To Hell on His Back
For Me
By God’s Grace Will He Enable
Me To Forget Them As He Has
By God’s Grace Are They
& Will They Be
Cast From East to West
By God’s Grace They Become Dim
& Unseeable
After Being Brought Painfully
To the Light
By God’s Grace He Has
Forgiven Me
Page the First
I. The Sin of my Pride, wherefore, I am born into love of myself and my pleasures over the right due love of God’s Holiness and moreover, God Himself.
II. The Sin of my lies, wherefore, I have and do on too oft occasion, make light and vicious remarks of untruthfulness. Furthermore, my life itself has been, since birth, a lie against my fellows and God in Heaven.
III. The Sin of my disrespect toward my family, both on earth and of Heaven.
IV. The Sin of my disrespect toward my wife, whereby, I put my desires to surpass the importance of her own.
V. The Sin of my disrespect toward my wife, whereby, I heed not her wisdom and place my corrupt version thereof in its stead.
VI. The Sin of my Pride, wherefore, I yearn to make myself known better than the Christ I claim as Lord.
VII. The Sin of my willful adultery to my Messiah by the ignorance of His Gracious pleadings and callings to refrain.
VIII. The Sin of my willful adultery to my wife, before and after the sacred vows were given her by the willful and impertinent wanderings and wishes of my mind in the most disgusting.
IX. The Sin of my laze and sloth, wherefore, I willfully and often deliberately disregarded the duties and known right obligations of my employment and family.
X. The Sin of my willful disregard for the warnings of the Spirit, whereby, I have oft given my flesh the permission to wander from right—from the narrow path, to the gutter beside.
XI. The Sin of my murders against my brother in the flesh by my hatred and anger against him.
XII. The Sin of my murders against my fellow man by my willful mockery and wishing of his death.
XIII. The Sin of my disrespect, wherefore, I have oft willfully and maliciously insulted my earthly father, and, in so doing; I have spit in the eye f God by my arrogance.
XIV. The Sin of my arrogance, wherein, my thoughts of personal gain from all things (life, death, accolade, ridicule, loss, education, marriage, and truly countless others has outweighed my longing to see my Lord glorified.
XV. The Sin of my willful unteachability, whereby, I have dismissed the council of wise men and mothers.
XVI. The Sin of my finding pleasure in things not of God.
XVII. The Sin of my allowing the lusts of my flesh and body to rule over the right inclination so miraculously imputed to me by Christ.
XVIII. The Sin of my anger and frustration at the equivalent annoyance of an itch whilst obliviously and defiantly standing in the very shadow of the Cross.
XIX. The Sin of my blatant fornication of the mind, especially in my youth, whereby, I have yearned for companionship other than my Lord and then future bride.
XX. The Sin of my doubt in the creative and saving power of the God of Heaven.
XXI. The Sin of my ignorance of the desires of my blessed bride, whereby, she has been caused to suffer.
XXII. The Sin of my pride, wherefore, I think and desire praise for even the most silly of purposes.
XXIII. The Sin of my haughtiness, whereby, even as this is penned my mind wanders to thoughts of praise by men for my humility. I make men unwitting liars on my behalf.
XXIV. The Sin of my lasciviousness and license in my mind and even in my flesh.
XXV. The Sin of my greed, whereby, I care more for monetary stability and earthly success than I do and should have for those I claim to love.
XXVI. The Sin of my wanton unfrugalness in handling the gifts God has given to me.
XXVII. The Sin of my procrastination, whereby, I play the fool and let even the most simple obligation’s completion pass by my care without further regard than a fly.
XXVIII. The Sin of my vile language, that has, on numerous occasions spewed forth from my tongue with a hideousness that rivals the hell to which these words are destined.
XXIX. The Sin of my high regard of my appearance and blessings of ability in many things, and thence my low regard for the Righteous Judge by whom these all are granted—if at all.
XXX. The Sin of my impatience, wherein, I have let loose all the vileness of words and deeds—and worse yet—thoughts toward the nearest victim of my weakness.
XXXI. The Sin of my hands, whereby, young men have been bloodied without justice.
XXXII. The Sin of my arms, whereby, the strength of which has tested the patience of the Lord by helping guide the hands of blood.
XXXIII. The Sin of my shoulders, on whom I have made out to carry ad have carried loads not fit for to credit myself.
XXXIV. The Sin of my heart for leaping with glee at the wretched excitement of Sin itself.
XXXV. The Sin of my waist for continuing the guidance of my body towards destruction.
XXXVI. The Sin of my legs for walking and even running at the sinful bequest of my waste toward wicked scenes and actions.
XXXVII. The Sin of my feet for hastily obeying my legs and walking on the hot coals of lust and murder.
XXXVIII. The Sin of my organs for impulsing to evil.
XXXIX. The Sin of my mouth for speaking loosely of my King in unfriendly lands.
XL. The Sin of my mouth for speaking ill thoughts that reflect the desires of my flesh and not my Heavenly Father.
XLI. The Sin of my mouth for speaking the vulgarity of flesh.
XLII. The Sin of my mouth for cursing the name for which Christ died.
XLIII. The Sin of my mouth cursing my family; both in flesh and spirit did I curse them.
XLIV. The Sin of my mouth for cursing the name of God Himself and His Son, Jesus the Christ.
XLV. The Sin of my mouth for every idle and idol word spoken—and deliberated.
XLVI. The Sin of my mind, wherein, did I and do I yet contemplate all these listed and more.
XLVII. The Sin of my eyes whereby I have seen and looked intently upon wickedness and evil
XLVIII. The sin of my ears whereby I have listened to words, music, and other earthly sounds that did not praise God at best and did make mockery of Him at worst.
XLIX. The Sin of my whole flesh whereby each member has sinned in one accord with the rest either by collaboration or ignorance.
L. The Sin of my deliberate acts of violence against the innocent—man or beast.
LI. The Sin of my willful negligence of innocent creatures entrusted to my care and safekeeping.
LII. The Sin of my self love and focus, whereby, I have oft executed actions of many sorts to ensure the safety thereof at the expense of my fellows.
LIII. The Sin of my exaggeration of even originally truthful events in order to paint my ugly colors prettier.
LIV. The Sin of my hatred whereby I have on oft occasion found reasoning to justify my wanton judgment of complete strangers based solely on appearances.
LVI. The Sin of my utter disrespect for my dear mother who brought me hence in love, yet I spoke out of my evilly depraved maliciousness.
LVII. The Sin of my idolatry toward my body in place of the thankfulness to God for my health.
LVIII. The Sin of my idolatry toward my skills in place of the thankfulness to God due Him for His work through my simple hands.
LIX. The Sin of my idolatry towards my worldly possessions over my thankfulness to God for them.
LX. The Sin of my idolatry toward my childhood home, whereby, I did not have fondness out of thankfulness but out of love for the creation rather than the Creator.
LXI. The Sin of my vanity.
LXII. The Sin of my unwillingness to work, whereby, I have oft allowed duties to be neglected or usurped.
LXIII. The Sin of my willful disobedience of my nation’s laws to no end of obeying God in their stead but rather to simply be unlawful.
LXIV. The Sin of my taking life without purpose of protection or of provision.
LXV. The Sin of my wanton abuse of the creatures entrusted to me not only by neglect but ill treatment and lack of self control.
LXVI. The Sin of my arrogant disrespect of my numerous elders and even more countless betters, whereby, I have mocked, disobeyed, insulted, ignored, and poorly thought and spoke of them all.
LXVII. The Sin of my vane toil towards gains not of God or His ways.
LXVIII. The Sin of my pervasive lack of self control in my anger, whereby, I unleash the very vileness of Hell at the drop of a hat.
LXIX. The Sin of my irreverent behavior in His temple, my body.
LXX. The sin of my lack of self control in my passion, whereby, I let loose the whim of my mind to vile and dangerous levels.
LXXI. The Sin of my lack of self control in my self purported humor, whereby, I do not keep caged the dogs of my sinful nature.
LXXII. The Sin of my non-existent self control over my mind, whereby, I am at the mercy (or lack thereof) of my nature.
LXXIII. The Sin of my pernicious ways of my youth, wherein, my wildest exploits were performed solely for my credit and another’s harm.
LXXIV. The Sin of my subversive mistreatment of my body to ends even I could not have foreseen.
LXXV. The Sin of my false honor and often vainglorious attempts at martyrdom.
LXXVI. The Sin of my lackadaisical attitude and action, or absence thereof, toward doing right in any situation—unless my gain in either money or glory was then ascertainable.
LXXVII. The Sin of my not keeping the Sabbath in my action or my heart by putting even the most innocuous of events in its place and distracting my mind from thankfulness, rest, and worship.
Page the Tenth
LXXVIII. The Sin of my uncaring attitude towards my wife, whereby, I have not cared for her health, happiness, and affection like a man of God ought.
LXXIX. The Sin of my uncaring attitude toward my employment whereby I have not given care to watching over my workmanship, my fellow workmen, my employer, or my customers.
LXXX. The Sin of my considering at more than one occasion that I might not be able to finish this list as aimed.
LXXXI. The Sin of my covetous attitude and action against my brothers—even in things spiritual!
LXXXII. The Sin of my covetous attitude and action against my neighbors, wherein, I have yearned for the possession of various vanities and trinkets.
LXXXIII. The Sin of my theft of various items of varying value but each with a value of my head on them for my thievery.
LXXXIV. The Sin of my theft from my family on earth of time, valuables, food, and love at which I sneered.
LXXXV. The sin of my theft from various employers, whereby, I stole wages, time, materials and trinkets for my own unmerited gain and use.
LXXXVI. The Sin of my theft from other husbands and future husbands by stealing for myself in my mind the pleasures of their brides—current or future. God, forgive me!
LXXXVII. The Sin of my neglect of my friends that God, in His mercy, has granted me, wherein, I do not maintain ministerial contact with them.
LXXXVIII. The Sin of my neglect of my ministerial privileges to pursue my own desires.
LXXXIX. The Sin of my unloving regard for the lost and weak, wherein, I pursue knowledge over their redemption and come close to shedding false tears on their behalf.
XC. The Sin of my blasphemy against my parents by dishonoring the ministry in my life by the sins listed herein and many more.
XCI. The Sin of my blasphemy against God by outright using His Holy name as a curse.
XCII. The Sin of my blasphemy against God by not believing His book.
XCIII. The Sin of my blasphemy against Christ by living as though He had not died and rose again in my stead.
XCIV. The Sin of my blasphemy against God for praying for ends known to be against His will.
XCV. The Sin of my unbelief. In this did I die in all these things. But in Christ, they are washed away and I live--yet not I, but Christ lives in me.
Praise Him! Praise Him!
I have been redeemed!
Praise Him All You Peoples!
10 Comment(s):
Now, tell me you don't believe in Total Depravity and the miracle it surely is when God saves.
great post!! looks very well done (as opposed to medium-rare)
This took me until the small hours of morning before I could even get to my sermon on Sunday to put together. I had actually hand written it beforehand too.
Forcing myself to think about these horrible things made me hate even more what I was, and love God all the more for what He is.
what's sad is that so many people go through life saying they are a sinner in need of a Savior, but they have no idea just how wretched they truly are!!
you a LOT more eloquent than I am!!! This is exactly what many people need to read, sadly enough though those same people who need to read it would not be willing to take a couple of minutes out of their day to listen to an evangelist, read the Word of God, or stuff like this. It is hard for me to believe that someone who truly considers him or herself to be Christian would not take a few moments (they should be willing to give their entire life), just to pay attention and examine their life.
hi s.j.,
i found your blog through lionel's blog. just want to tell you that sooo many of your theses i can rightly confess as my own sins (and have done so on many occassions). not that these are the only two - but i want to specifically comment on # 23 on pg. 3 about being proud of your own humility. boy! have i been there. i hate that! i know in my heart that it's the Holy Spirit Who prompts me to pray, Who causes me to see the sin in my life and confess it as such- but then sometimes i feel such pride that "i" humbled myself- what a contradiction!
then there is # 75 on pg. 9 about my "self-imposed martyrdom". been here many times too, especially when dealing with my husband's traits that rub me the wrong way. ACTING as if i'm the long-suffering wife (but all the while keeping count of offenses done to me).smh
like i said, i can really admit to so much more but i wont.
i thank God for the Blood of Jesus which cleans us from all sin. by His grace, i recognize my wretched state and like you- i cling to His mercy for i have been redeemed!!!
hallelujah.
Jason,
As to the first statement, thanks, but in the words of Bunyan I think: "you're too lat. The Devil already told me that."
However, I really do appreciate the encouragement despite my inclinations to puff up.
As to your main point, yes. That is exactly why I went ahead and posted this. I wasn't going to at first, but as helpful as it was for me, I wanted to share for God's sake despite all the temptation to simply put it out there for praise.
God forgive me if I entertained the thought.
Thanks Jason, its good to see you around. I did get your email and have not forgotten about it. I simply have not had time to correspond as much as I would like.
Angela,
Good to have you. Lionel is a good man and I enjoy reading what they publish over at Black & Reformed. Your issue with #23 is so difficult is it not?
Indeed, pride is the root of all sin--just ask Eve, just ask Adam.
All points aside, the end of your comment sums it up well I think.
"I cling to His mercy for I have been redeemed--Hallelujah!"
Well said.
We (Christians) are indeed well saved from these things aren't we? What a wonderfully terrible and just and loving God we serve.
Awesome post! Jason sat and read these aloud to me :)
He must have been throat sore after this one. It's kind of long.
Thanks.
jessie, did you tell him to stop yelling?
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